Evan gets a BigWheel !

Dance recital is done and done.....YES! a sense of relief has taken hold.

John is back

Not alot to say...just that John is back and I am very happy....
I also want to thank Becky S. and Beth H. for all the help with Evan, there is no way I would have made it through this with out you, and also to Leslie F. --You are such a great friend, thank you for just being there and for the help and support, it meant alot.

Mother's Day reflection....

I try to keep my pessimistic attitude at bay, and TRY to keep the negative stuff to a minimum on my blog and facebook But.....feeling the need to share: I might have to take a break from reading other people's blog's (about their lives) and facebook: why....I do feel the envy sneak up alot lately. As I reflect about "mother's day" and being a mom: well, it's a hard and sacrificial job. Your life is gone in one fell swoop with the last "push" and in some ways my life is over: I do love being a mom-it is very rewarding....but a hard job. I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud you know one of those belly laughs or did something just plain fun. or for that matter relaxing. I fall asleep every single night completely and utterly exhausted and my mind races with the days and weeks ahead as I fight the drifting off. I guess no first-time mom really knows what she's gotten herself into until the baby arrives, and as much as I wanted and was ready to be a mom, it is not what I thought it was going to be. again it is an amazing and wonderful job but a very complicated and challenging one. As a mom you are pushed at every level and at all times and in my case it feels like it's relentless. NO REST FOR THE WEARY! I am TIB tired....(tops in blue tired) Evan will get older and this will all be a distant memory but now...I am trying to live in the moment and forge ahead, and look at the bright side, and change my perspective and realize that I am lucky but it's easy to say and not easy to do.

Missing my identity

Missing my freedom

Missing what it was like to have a life, to get to relax, to be able to take a break and breathe, to sleep in - just once.....

with all that said plus alot I'm not saying......I have grown to truely appreciate what my mom has done for my brother and me, and how dedicated she was to us and still is, I have an awesome-awesome mom, she did it with hardly any money, my dad working hard, with minimal help from family and (sorry dad-but she changed every single diaper--my dad never did diapers-without a washing machine, small sink on a farm-cloth diapers) so you see, everyday my appreciation grows for Mrs Cindy Coffey--love ya mom

I miss him...plain and simple

Miss him, nothing more to say

John in Action once again....

The civie gig..

Glad to see them goofing off a little, this pic did my heart some good. Why am I not surprised that it's John, Michael and Fish.....I can't wait for all of them to return, I must admit that if you need a good laugh, just spend 2 min with these three guys, plus Paul. They will have your belly hurting....